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October 05 2017

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Watching Star Trek as an adult shines new light on why my dad used to look really uncomfortable sometimes during our late-night marathons.

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some kakashi and sakumo headcanon doodles~

i kept thinking, “how was kakashi so good so damn early in life??” and i figured his dad had to have taken him on missions when he was a baby or something because otherwise I can’t figure out how he was capable of it if Sakumo was always away on A and S rank missions while also being a single father

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you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie. 

this has forty notes. that’s forty more notes than expected.

THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes

LISTEN i don’t normally engage in Discourse but this information is DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!

the point of the riddle isn’t to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irrelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it “if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will they tell me?”

if you asked the truth-telling one, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because they’re misleading you, so

ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.

“who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn’t matter irl–”

WRONG AGAIN! story time:

A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.

now, i’ve been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand.

I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum. 

the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting “ask him what color your hair is!” and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum

remember, kids, it doesn’t matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests.

always be ready for a riddle contest

Here’s a thing that usually doesn’t come up when people try to criticise this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will collapse when you’re halfway across.

They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question.

If you ask “What’s two plus two?” than great. You know which one lies but you also still don’t know which bridge you can cross and can’t find out.

You played yourself.

i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run.

^ Look at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all.

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This looks like shit but sometimes u stumble across a gem and think:

“Yes I must draw the Grunk in this”

nature is gay





if you go outside youre gay thats why they call it coming out 

These kinds of jokes are so fucking cringy. Why is cuck humor like this? Tumblr humor is just so unfunny..

cuck humor

that dude wants to fuck trains


When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure. I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies.

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.

So that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist. How about you?

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So this is actually really good advice. The reason is this… people often need to talk out their problems. They may know the answer, but hearing it outloud often causes a spark of clarity that being in your head can’t do. It’s why one of the best pieces of advice when problem-solving is ‘Talk it out.’


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clearly he wants to hold hands

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I honestly feel so personally attacked by this

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kicking off the autumn season with private school occult murders

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run while you can before it’s too late

That skull grew eyes out of sheer disdain





Roses are red

Storm clouds are grey

Poetry is great.

lemme try…

Roses are red,

Some tulips are black,

The roses have bloomed,

The ground is muddy,

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Commission for a client









Knock me down I Will just come back Stonger

I Fell and got up 1,000 Times

pushups  r u letting god bully you to the ground but u keep coming up

Say that again

pushups  r u letting god bully you to the ground but u keep coming up


I am defining pushups to be the action of allowing GOD to push u as a bully would with force towards the ground, but instead of hitting the ground you come back up, with ur arms

Please slow down…

What’s pushups?

Who are you?

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He makes a good point.

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[♔] - “Congratulations on your winning bid, sir.” 

(jaydickweek day 3 - restraints. microdrabble with implied sidepairing(s?) below)

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